SciFi AU (R - Minor violence, Language, Slight sexual overtones)

Parts of this story has been rattling around in my brain for years.

. . . the door said in bold orange letters. 99 pushed it open and saw her beloved Max, seated behind his desk, typing away at his computer. She smiled and stood there for a moment, watching him. His hair was now mostly white, but many strands of black still peppered his head.

Max glanced up, saw 99, and gave her a huge smile.

“You’re home!” He cried happily, jumping up. He threw his arms around her, swung her around and gave her a passionate kiss. “I sure did miss you, seems like you‘ve been gone forever. When’d you get back?”

99 hugged him back. “About an two hours ago. I had to stop at my office and check on a few things.”

“Things in the halls of Congress are just fine.”

“I had to check my mail,” 99 said. “Darn! I did forget something. Now I have to go back.”

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”

99 paused, “Uhhh . . . I have a 9:00 AM flight to New York tomorrow, Max.”

His face fell. “You just got home!” He said, hurt. “And you’re running off again?”

99 touched his face. “Love, you know I have to do certain things as a congresswoman. We discussed this before I ran for office. You were behind me 100%. Then. Have you changed your mind?”

“No,” He said, hugging her. “I just that you spend so much time . . . Oh, never mind, you’re right. I’ll always support you, no matter what.”

99 studied his dejected face for a moment, then made a decision . . . and a phone call.

“Listen, Danny,” she said to her secretary, “Cancel my flight to New York tomorrow. Why? Changed my mind, that’s why. It’s Labor Day weekend and I’m going to spend the weekend with Max.” She paused. “No, I don’t care. It’s only a ship christening, for Heaven’s sake. I don’t know why they wanted me for it in the first place. Find someone else. No, my decision is final. You take the weekend off too. I’ll see you on Tuesday. Okay, good-night.”

99 turned back to Max, who was beaming.

“Okay, Chief, what do you have in mind?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Let’s go home and . . .” The phone rang, interrupting him. He shook his head. “Sorry, 99.” He talked for a few minutes, the expression on his face changing. “So soon?” He gave 99 a strange look. “Okay . . . Tuesday it is.”

He hung up and began nervously shuffling through the papers on his desk. 99 came over and leaned on the desk. “What’s up, Max?”

“Nothing, nothing . . . just business,” He said. The papers scattered to the floor. He got down to pick them up. 99 knelt beside him to help. She handed him a stack and looked directly into his eyes.

“Maxwell Smart . . .”

Max sighed. He had put off telling her because he knew she was going to be very angry. But, they had never lied to each other and Max wasn’t going to start now.

“99 . . .” He sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall. He motioned for her to join him. She sat down and he put an arm around her. “Kiss me?”

99 kissed him, knowing full well that what he was going to tell her was something she didn’t want to hear.

“I never get tired of that,” He said softly, his hand resting on her cheek.

“Me either,” 99 said. Her eyes narrowed, “Okay, Max, what’s up?”

“99 . . . the twins become active field agents on Tuesday.” He closed his eyes tightly and waited. When the expected explosion didn’t occur, he slowly opened one eye. She was glaring at him.

“Max! You promised me!”

“I did not promise you! I said, ‘I’ll see what I can do.’ But what could I do? Tell them they can’t be promoted because Mommy says ‘No’? They’re over twenty-one, 99.”

“I know how old they are! I gave birth to them! I didn’t want them to join Control in the first place. I don’t want them to get killed! Isn’t that why we stopped being field agents?”

Max shrugged glumly and didn’t say anything.

“Oh, come on, Max! After all these years there’s no sense in lying about it.”

“Oh, 99 . . .”

“Okay . . . what about the dream?”

Max took her hand and kissed it, looking deeply into her eyes. He thought about 99’s dream and how it had nearly come true . . . it had been flat out spooky. 99 had had dream three times, once before they were married and twice afterwards. The first time took place when they were on assignment in Berlin. They always kept the door between their hotel rooms ajar in case of an emergency. On this particular night, 99 had awoken Max with her screams. After they assured the hotel detective that it had only been a nightmare, 99 told him about the dream and spent the rest of the night sobbing, terrified, in his arms. Several days after they were married, she had the dream again. Then, after the third time, a sequence of events took place that were eerily accurate. Even when threatened with suspension, Max and 99 flatly refused to go on an assignment and walked out on the Chief in mid-sentence. With no other agents were available, they left him in an extremely difficult situation. The Chief was absolutely furious and suspended them for a month without pay. During the suspension, Max and 99 discussed it several times, coming to the conclusion that they would refer to it only as ‘the dream’. Several months later, they went to the Chief and told him the truth. He was inexplicably understanding, saying he had forgiven them long ago. But he never would tell them anything about the mission, what had happened or if the mission was accomplished.

“You want to tell the twins we were scared by ‘the dream’? No, scared isn’t the word . . . cautious.”

“Cautious, scared, whatever . . . ‘the dream’ almost came true. If we hadn’t refused we‘d be . . .” She stopped short, remembering the promise. “I want my babies safe.” She suddenly realized how ridiculous she sounded. “Oh, Max . . . I’m sorry. I sound so silly.”

“It’s not silly to be concerned about your children’s well being.”

“Max, it worries me, it really does. We were safe for so long and then Commander Drurey had to call you and reactivate Control . . .”

“If it wasn’t for this organization, we wouldn’t have each other.”

“I know, I know . . .”

99 pulled away, put her face in her hands for a moment, then ran her fingers through her hair. Her eyes lit on the Control insignia on the wall.

“I wonder what the Chief would think of that thing?” She asked, hooking a thumb at the insignia and turning back to Max.

At the mention of the Chief’s name, Max grew melancholy. Even after nearly twenty years, he still missed him terribly. Yet, he smiled.

“I think he’d hate it.”

“Me too,” 99 smiled at him.

“99, are you still mad? Because if you are, this is going to be one awful weekend.”

“No, Love, you’re right. You can’t tell them Mommy says no. I guess I’m just going to have to learn to live with it - again.”

“We’ll have to learn to live with it,” Max said. “You think I’m looking forward to sending them on their missions?”

99 touched his face. “I didn’t think about that. Where are they, anyway?”

“Maxine’s down in the lab and Zach is . . . well, doing ‘Zach stuff’.”

They both laughed . . .

The term ‘Zach stuff’ had originated when Zach had uttered a classic one Sunday afternoon when the Chief and Max were playing chess. Zach was almost two at the time and Max had put one of the bar stools next to the chess table so he could watch them play. The Chief made his move, smiled, and settled back in his chair. “Check!” He said. Max studied the board in dismay. Then he saw something the Chief had missed. He couldn’t believe it! He moved his piece and announced “Checkmate!” with a huge grin on his face. It was the first time Max had ever beaten the Chief in a game of chess. The Chief sat there, astonished, scratching his bald head and staring at the board. “Well, I’ll be . . .” Zach, delighted by his father’s win, shouted, “Sorry, Chief!” Both men stared at him, back at each other, and burst out laughing. As 99 came down the stairs to see what was going on, Max jumped up and grabbed her up in a bear hug, giving her a passionate kiss. The Chief was convinced Max was going to boast about his win. But he was surprised when a delighted Max amused her with the story of their son’s classic line, adding his first win almost an afterthought. From that point on, every time Zack said or did a Max-like thing, the Chief called it ‘Zach stuff’.

99 laughed at the memory. “Oh, Max . . .” She kissed him.

The kiss became so passionate, neither of them heard the outer office door slid open, or saw Zach and Maxine enter the office. Crossing the room, it was Maxine who first saw her parents groping each other on the floor behind the desk. She smothered a smile and motioned to her brother. They stood silently, arms crossed, as Max and 99 continued on, oblivious of their presence.

Zach cleared his throat. “Uhhh, Mom? Weren’t you Control’s shadowing expert? With an uncanny sense of knowing when you’re being followed?”

Max and 99 disentangled themselves and stood up, blushing every shade of red possible.

“Your Mom was helping me pick up some papers I dropped,” Max said, helping 99 up. He straitened the papers and tossed them into a file on the desk.

“I’ve never seen anyone pick up papers like that, Dad,” Maxine said.

“Uhhh . . . Oh, yes! It’s all the rage,” She rolled her eyes at her own explanation.

“Uh-huh,” Zach said. “Hey, Dad, when do we get to go on our first mission?”

Max gave 99 a side-ways glance. “You don’t become field agents until Tuesday.”

“We know that. But you’re not going to let Mom talk you out of it, are you?” Maxine asked.

99 put a hand on Max’s shoulder. “I just want you to be careful. And before you say you will, remember, I know what I’m talking about.”

“Aw, Mom, come on!”

99 sat down on Max’s desk and looked her brood right in the eye. “Now listen to me. Your father and I have always been open-minded about how you live your lives. I won’t try to stop you from doing what you want, but I don’t have to be happy about it either.”

The twins stood in silence.

“Okay, Mom, but I hope Dad isn’t going to send us on soft assignments.”

“Enough! Your father is Chief and makes the decisions . . .”

“Hey!” Max interrupted severely. “I am standing here, you know.”

“Sorry, Max.” 99 said.

“Okay, here’s the deal. Be here Tuesday at 8:00 AM sharp and we‘ll talk about it. Case closed. No pun intended.”

The twins grumbled, but accepted Max’s decision.

“What are you doing this weekend, kids?” Max asked.

“We’re going to the shore with Austin and 66. We’re taking two of Austin’s Harley’s. We’re going to camp out, get some rays and just relax.” Maxine said.

“Have fun,” Max said.

“We gotta go. We promised Austin we’d be at his place by 7:30. It’s almost that now.” She planted a kiss on both of her parent’s cheeks. Zach gave Max a hug and kissed his Mom. Then they practically flew out the office door.

“To the shore on Harleys?” 99 questioned. “Oh, well . . . Max, let’s blow this pop stand. I still have to stop by the office. You want to leave your car here or just meet me at home?”

“I’ll head on home,” He smiled. “I have a surprise waiting.”

“What surprise?”

“Now, 99, it wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you.”

*********

99 finally got home around 9:30. She was fuming. A congressman from Iowa had forced her into a lengthy conversation about the horrible condition of the corn crop in his state because of the draught. Although she remained polite, 99 already knew of the conditions. She still owned her Mother’s farm and she and Max spent as much of their off time there as they could. They had discussed selling the property, but opted to hang on to it.

She hurried up the steps to the bedroom. Max wasn’t there, so she changed and headed to the den, which was really a den/library/office. When they bought the massive, six bedroom house in 1974, they had taken the two corner bedrooms overlooking the large back yard and made them into a den. They added a fireplace, sofa and a large screened in porch. It was their favorite room and they spent most of their time there. They had also built a large, screened in gazebo in the corner of the half-acre back yard.

Max was sitting quietly on the sofa, reading a book. He looked up at 99 with one eye as entered. “Where have you been?”

“I got trapped by a congressman from Iowa who wanted to talk about the drought. I’m sorry, Max.” She sat down beside him on the sofa.

“That’s okay.”

“No, it isn’t. You’re right, we don’t spend enough time together. I miss you, Max.”

“Maybe you do and maybe you don‘t . . .” His voice trailed off.

“What?”

“Well . . .” He handed her an a manila envelope. “This was in the mailbox today.”

99 opened the envelope and gasped at the contents. It was a semi-provocative picture of her with a tall, very good looking man.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???” She shouted.

Max shrugged. “Why don’t you tell me?”

99 stared at him in shock. “You don’t believe this, do you? It doesn’t even look real! Was there anything else in the envelope?”

“No.”

99 got up. “You think I’m cheating on you?”

Max sat silently with his head down, looking heartbroken.

“Okay . . .” 99 went to the phone, called Hymie and asked him to come to the house immediately.

When the robot arrived about a half hour later, the house was enveloped in a stony silence. Max was on the porch, staring out into the back yard as 99 paced the floor.

“Hymie, look at this picture and tell me how it was doctored,” 99 said.

Hymie looked at the picture closely for several minutes, then shook his head.

“This was done on a computer. Not a very good job. Looks like the woman was cut out and then you were stuck in, 99. What’s it for?”

“That’s what I’d like to know. Somebody sent it to Max. Now he thinks I’m cheating on him.”

“WHAT?” Hymie shouted. He went out on the porch and dragged his best friend in. “You actually think this picture is real?? Look at it!” He said, shoving the picture in front of his face.

Max took the photo and finally took a close look. He groaned . . . the picture looked about as real as if he had done it himself. He handed it back to Hymie and walked him to the front door.

“Take it to the lab and examine it. Maybe find some fingerprints that aren’t ours,” He handed him the envelope. “Call me when you’ve got something. I owe 99 an apology.”

“I think so, Max,” Hymie replied.

Max thanked him as he left, then looked up the stairs and grimaced. He took them two at a time and found 99 on the porch, leaning against the rail, staring out into the darkness of back yard. He went and stood beside her.

“99 . . .” He took her hand.

She turned to look at him, she was crying.

“How could you believe that, Max?”

Max looked miserably into her face. “I don’t know. I love you so much,” He took her into his arms. “I guess I’m still afraid of losing you.”

She hugged him. “You’ll never lose me, Max . . . I love you.”

“Can you ever forgive me?”

“I guess I can’t blame you too much. I would have reacted the same way. I wonder who sent it?” She frowned. “Maybe Hymie can get some prints.”

“You want more copies?”

She gave him a strange look. “Fingerprints, Max.”

“Oh, yeah. I wonder if it’s someone who wants to get us after all these years?”

99 shrugged. “Who’s still around?”

“Well . . . There’s Seigfried and Shtarker, The Groovy Guru, Ironhand, Rex Savage, Ann Camron, Emil and Naomi Farcus . . .”

“I hope Naomi isn’t still serving up that chocolate mousse,” 99 interrupted.

Max put a hand to his stomach. “Me too. They’re living in Marion, Ohio, seemingly going straight. Oh . . .” He paused. “Janet.”

“Ann Camron’s still in jail, isn’t she?”

“Yes . . . but your buddy Rex got out a few years ago.”

“He’s no buddy of mine. What about your blond friend Janet?”

“She’s still in jail,” Max said, sensing 99’s jealousy. “Besides . . . I prefer brunettes with blue eyes.

99 took his arm. “What was that surprise you had for me?”

Max smiled. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go to the gazebo.”

Max had put the canvas covering on the gazebo. He pulled aside the flap and motioned 99 inside. The light revealed a completely changed interior. He zipped the door and went to a table, where he lit several candles. The interior was now bathed in a beautiful, pale, flickering light. He had a tray sitting on the floor with a bottle of Champaign, cheese, crackers and Marshmallow Peeps. He had covered the floor with sleeping bags and about a dozen pillows.

Max sat down and motioned for her to join him. 99 sat down and studied him curiously.

“Just what do you have in mind, Chief of Control?” 99 asked.

Max pulled her into his arms.

“What about the food and drink?” 99 asked softly, stroking his hair.

Max rolled her over and looked down into her eyes. “What about it?” He asked, kissing her nose.

“I haven’t had dinner yet. I’m hungry . . .”

“I’m hungry too,” Max teased, kissing her deeply and running a hand lightly over her body. “I really have missed you, 99.”

“I’ve missed you too. Is this the surprise?” 99 asked, caressing him.

“Uh-huh,” Max said, nuzzling her neck.

“I love your surprises, Love . . .”

*********

Max was sitting on the sofa in the den, watching “Key Largo” for at least the fortieth time. 99 came in and said, “Mail’s here.”

“Anything interesting?”

99 flipped through the mound of advertisements and bills. Suddenly she came to a manila envelope . . . addressed to her.

“Hey, Love, look what came,” She held it up for him to see.

Together they opened it. Inside was a semi-provocative picture of Max with a tall, leggy blonde.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???” Max yelled.

99 shrugged. “Why don’t you tell me?”

They both snickered, then studied the picture closely.

“Seems to be the same fool who sent the other one. Wonder what this is all about?”

“Somebody trying to destroy our relationship?”

Max threw the picture and envelope on the desk. “We know better. I’ll take it with me on Tuesday and check it for prints. Did the paper come?”

“Oh . . . I left it down stairs.”

“I’ll get it. I made coffee,” He added, nodding toward the bar.

99 poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down to watch the movie. She heard Max come into the room, rattling the paper, but he didn’t come over to sit down. Puzzled, 99 turned and saw him standing in the middle of the room, staring at the metro section of the Washington Post.

Max motioned to her slowly. “Come here, 99.”

“What’s up, Max?”

Max looked at 99, puzzled. “I didn’t know you were living somewhere else. When did you move?”

“Max, this isn’t funny. I’m calling the paper right now. They’re going to print a retraction. I wasn‘t even there last night!”

“You weren’t?” Max asked, giving her a seductive wink.

99 called the paper and was shuffled from person to person until she finally got the weekend editor of the metro section. She identified herself and asked about the picture and story. When she got a lackadaisical reply, she got angry.

“Did you check your sources before you printed?”

“No. Hey, now I recognize your voice! I think you’re doing a great job.”

“I’m glad you think so. Now, where did that story come from?”

The man replied that a stringer had sent the story in late last night so it would make the early edition.

“I want you to print a retraction in the next edition.”

“Why?”

“Because I wasn’t at the party for the Queen, I was home, in bed.” She looked over at Max, who grinned and made kissy faces.

“Besides, the story’s not true,” 99 said, trying not to laugh and remain as serious and polite as possible. “My husband and I are still together, very much in love and have no intention of separating.”

“Well . . .”

99 raised her voice. “Print it! Or I’ll come down and do it myself.”

Apparently the man suddenly recognized the gravity of the situation, apologized, and said he would print the retraction in tomorrow’s paper.

“Thank-you.” 99 said, and hung up.

“99 . . . look at this picture. It’s got to be the same jerk that sent the others to us.”

“Who could be doing this?”

The phone rang, interrupting their train of thought. 99 answered and frowned.

“What? No, the story is NOT true. He’s right here. When? What’s the today’s password? That’s right. Yes, we’ll both be there.” She hung up and turned to Max. “Well, there goes the rest of the day.”

“Where and when do we have to be?”

“The Capital steps at 11:00 AM. I have to give a speech on Labor Day to a group of visiting Russian dignitaries.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“Extra security. Since I ‘volunteered’, you’re it.”

“Why? Everyone else is off for the weekend?”

“Probably,” she glanced at the clock. “Nothing like giving people time to prepare, it’s already 9:30. I guess we better get ready.”

At approximately 10:45, Max and 99 arrived at the Capital building. Max had recruited some off duty agents and they had checked the area. Everything seemed secure and soon the area was filled with the dignitaries from Russia, who were there to observe how Americans celebrated their working class. Max stood off to the side of the podium as 99 took her place and greeted the visitors. She began her speech by welcoming the Russians and then launched into a talk on how the working people of the United States were the backbone of the country.

Max’s eyes were alert as he continued to scan the crowd. Suddenly he spotted something that froze his heart . . . a man with a gun. The man was aiming his gun at the podium through a crowd which seemed totally oblivious of his presence.

“GET DOWN!!” Max screamed and launched himself at 99. He hit her and knocked her to the ground, shielding her with his body as the gun went off. There was a mad scramble as the man was tackled by about twenty people, beaten unconscious and hauled quickly away by the police.

99 pulled herself to her knees and saw Max lying still on the ground beside her, blood streaming from a wound.

“MAX!!!” She gently turned him over and found the wound in the calf of his left leg. To her immense relief, he was still breathing. 99 took off her light jacket and used it to put direct pressure on the wound to staunch the bleeding.

“Oh, God! Max?” She touched his face.

“99 . . .” Max moved slightly and opened his eyes. “You okay?” He asked in a strong and clear voice.

“Yes, Love. Hang on, help’s on the way,” Her eyes filled with tears.

“I’m okay, 99,” He smiled and squeezed her hand.

By that time, several paramedics had arrived and took over. They placed a temporary bandage, hooked him up to an IV and bustled him off to the amblance. 99 rode with him to the hospital . . .

*********

99 sat by Max, her head on the bed, holding his hand. Despite the many requests of the doctors, she flatly refused to leave. This was one time she was glad she possessed a bit of power as a congresswoman. She had tried calling the twins, but neither were answering their phones. She figured the minute they turned on a radio or picked up a newspaper, they would call and head back. The news of the shooting on the Capital steps was the top news story.

Max had come out of the anesthesia and knew she was there, but had fallen asleep again. As she moved slightly, trying to get more comfortable, Max squeezed her hand.

“Hey, 99 . . .”

“Max . . .” She looked up at him.

“You okay?”

“Oh, Love, I’m fine. Are you in a lot of pain?”

“Not really. How bad?”

“Fortunately it’s just a flesh wound. The bullet hit you in the calf of your left leg. I got direct pressure on it, so you didn’t lose a lot of blood. You’ve got over 100 stitches . . .” She hesitated, “ . . . and there was a slight bit of nerve damage. You may have some numbness that will never go away, Love.”

Max shrugged. “That’s a small price to pay as long as you’re okay. Did they get him?”

“They got him.”

He sighed in relief. “What’s his story?”

“They haven’t been able to get much out of him.”

“Who’s ‘they’?”

“The cops got him first, but they released him to the CIA.”

“The CIA!” Max rolled his eyes.

99 looked extremely upset. She got up and began pacing the room.

“99? What’s wrong?”

She turned to him. “Max . . . Control is . . .” She stuttered to a stop.

“Control is what?” Max watched her, afraid she was going to say Control was out of business. Suddenly, a light bulb popped on in his head. He grinned. He cleared his throat and said in a highly professional tone, “99 . . . I am well aware that Control is part of the CIA.”

“You are????”

“For Heaven’s sake, 99 . . . I’m the Chief of Control!” Max said, laughing. “Of course I know. It’s no secret,” He paused and shrugged. “So what if we’re now a sub-unit of the CIA? The Chief fought government bureaucracy for years trying to keep us afloat. I thought you knew I knew.”

“I didn’t. I was afraid you’d be upset.”

“I wasn’t overjoyed with the idea, but President Clinton told me the only way to keep Control going was to make it a sub-division of the CIA. What could I do? Did you know we’re no longer a ‘secret’ organization?”

99 nodded. “I know. Max? There’s something else . . . I’ve been put in charge of Control’s budget.”

“When did that happen?”

“Friday. That’s why I had to stop at the Capital on my way home from the airport.”

“So, if I need cash, I go to you for approval? Does the president know about your affiliation with Control? Besides being married to me, I mean.”

“Of course.”

Max shook his head tiredly. “I don’t like this.”

“Neither do I. Being appointed overseer of Control’s budget, those pictures arriving in the mail, the newspaper story, the shooting . . .”

“So you think this is connected.”

“Oh, that’s clever.”

“We’re also the top story on CNN. They keep showing that tape over and over again.”

“Really? How do we look? Is my hair all right?”

“Max . . .” she was interrupted mid-sentence when her special Control watch-phone rang. She answered and was immediately immersed in a conversation with Zach.

“No, no . . . he’s going to be fine! What? Well . . .” She glanced at Max. “Let me ask.”

She covered the mouthpiece. “They want to take the case. The CIA has already approved, but they need the okay of the Chief of Control.”

“Hymie’s in charge in my absence.”

99 relayed the message.

“Hymie says it’s okay, Max, but they still need your okay.”

They’re eyes locked.

“Dad says go for it,” She paused. “Yes. Okay. I’ll tell him. We love you both. Be careful . . .” 99 hung up and sat staring at her watch. “Oh, boy . . .” She sighed.

“They’ll be fine, 99,” Max said. “I hope,” he muttered.

“What?”

“Nothing. 99, why don’t you go home and get some sleep? You’re worn out. I’m fine.”

“I think I’ll go to headquarters and bunk out there. The press has been stalking me and if I go home they’ll just bug me all night.”

“Okay. I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too,” She said, giving him a kiss. “Maxwell Smart. I’ll have a surprise waiting for you when you get home.”

“What?”

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

“I guess we’ll have to use another way, and keep me off this leg.”

“Huh?” 99 said, confused. Suddenly she blushed. “Max!”

When 99 got to Max’s office, she took a long, wonderful, relaxing shower in his office bathroom. She threw on a t-shirt and pair of sweatpants and, yawning, she opened the closet door and pulled a pillow and blanket from the top shelf. As she pulled the blanket down, it caught a medium-sized box and it fell to the floor. 99 tossed aside the blanket and picked up the box. As she lifted it to put it back, she saw her name written on it. Frowning, and knowing she probably shouldn’t, she carried it over to the sofa and opened it. Inside were several photo albums, papers, a few nick-knacks she recognized as belonging to the Chief, and an envelope . . . addressed to her in Max‘s handwriting. Again, knowing she should put everything back, she opened the letter and began to read . . .

May 17, 1974

99 . . .

I miss The Chief. He was the only father I ever had and I loved him dearly.

Things are sometimes difficult to put into words. You know I love you and I know you love me. I’ve been wanting to say some things but “I’ve never been able to find the right words” (smile). It’s simple enough . . . I love you. You are “my soul and my inspiration” as the song says. Do you know when I first knew I loved you? When you were romancing Rex Savage . . . and I had to watch you with him in his car, and on the couch at my apartment. But I played dumb and kept you at a distance because I thought you should have someone better than me (yeah, we’ve discussed this). But (as you know) it broke my heart was when you ran off to marry Victor. I knew you were puzzled as to my intentions when you saw me there and after we got back. Even after we went on “the assignment“ and I asked you to marry me, I was reluctant to go through with the wedding because I didn‘t want to humiliate you. I heard people asking you how in the world could you love me. I knew they were laughing - I heard them. You always gave me credit for the success of our missions, when, in reality, we both know it was you. Then the “chaos” with Dr. Madre and having to hang on the back of a door on our wedding night . . . I was beginning to think everybody was right.

But you stuck by me, as always. You are my soul mate, my love, my life. When you gave birth to our babies, you gave me something I never thought I’d have . . . a family who loves me.

No matter what may happen to us in the future, my sweet 99, I will always love you. I will always be there for you, I will never intentionally hurt you and I will love you, with all my heart, for eternity.

Max had never been particularly articulate, but this short note brought tears to 99’s eyes.

“Oh, Max . . .” She said softly.

********

Max was sitting up in a chair when 99 arrived the next day.

“Hey! Guess what?”

“What?”

“I’ve been walking! They said I can go home today!!” He said, waving a pair of crutches. “The doctor will be in at 1:00 PM to sign my release forms,” He slipped into a semi-terrible Texas accent. “Until then, let’s us mosey on down to the waitin’ room at the end of the hall and raid the snack machines!!”

99 reached out to help him, but he smiled and waved her off. He got the crutches easily under his arms and they made their way slowly down the hall to the waiting room. Surprisingly, it was empty. Max sat on a sofa next to the window and stretched out his leg while 99 got two Cokes, a bag of Goobers and pack of Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups out of the machines. Max opened his Goobers and downed several. He noticed 99 was slowly sipping her Coke and watching him.

“What?” He asked.

99 pulled the envelope out of her purse and handed it to him.

“Awww . . . you wrote me a love letter,” Max smiled and kissed her on the cheek. He glanced at the front of the envelope and the smile disappeared from his face.

“Oh, boy . . .”

“I was getting a blanket and pillow off of the shelf in your closet. The box fell and I, well . . . got nosey. It did have my name on it, after all.”

Max opened the letter and glanced through it, remembering every line. He looked up at 99 and gave her one of his quick, nervous little laughs.

“Max, why didn’t you ever tell me you thought you were embarrassing me?”

Max shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Max, you’ve done some things that have upset me, but I never gave them much thought. Everyone makes mistakes.”

“Not like me.”

99 laughed. “Oh yes they do!”

“Listen, 99, we’ll find out who did this,” Max said, changing the subject. “Meanwhile, I’ll get some time off. Let’s . . .” He hesitated, “Oh . . . you won’t.”

“I was thinking about that. I’m going to use some vacation time . . .” She was interrupted by her watch phone again. When she answered, her eyes went wide.

“Yes, Mr. President,” She looked at Max. “Yes, Sir, he’s being released today, it was just a flesh wound. Yes, Sir, we can come to the White House from here.”

Max frowned.

“Three? We’ll be there, Sir.” She hung up.

“What was that all about?”

“The President says it’s very important that he speak to us as soon as possible.”

“Uh-oh . . .”

******

Max and 99 arrived at the White House fifteen minutes early. They were led to the anteroom of the Oval Office. Max sat on a sofa and rested his leg on a newspaper on the coffee table.

“I wonder what he wants? I’m nervous. It’s not very often you get called in to see the President.”

“Calm down, Max. It’s probably about the picture in the paper.”

“There has to be more to it than that, 99.”

“I guess you’re right. I’m just glad he didn’t ask me to come here alone.”

Max frowned. “Why?”

99 shot him a look.

This time it was Max who rolled his eyes. “99 . . .” He shook his head.

The President entered the room followed by two Secret Service Agents.

“I guess they don’t trust us,” 99 whispered to Max. He gave her an elbow in the ribs.

99 stood up. The President motioned for Max to remain seated and shook both their hands.

“Chief Smart, Congresswoman Smart . . .”

“Mr. President . . .” Max and 99 said at the same time.

“Sit down, Mrs. Smart.”

99 sat back down next to Max.

The President turned to the agents standing nearby. “I think I’m safe with these two. I’ll call if I need you.”

The two men nodded and left.

The President sat down in a chair opposite the couch and leaned his elbows on his knees, looking at the Smarts intently.

Max and 99 looked at each other. They were growing more nervous by the moment.

“Sir?” Max said.

“The CIA received a video tape in the mail today. Since Control is part of the CIA, we’re very concerned. When I saw it, I knew I had to get in touch with you myself. Your records with Control, although somewhat bizarre at times, indicate a loyalty to this country above and beyond the call of duty. Another thing I’ve noticed is the love the two of you have for each other. It shows in every aspect of your life. That’s why I felt I should be the one to show you what we received. It’s rather disturbing . . .” The President got up and handed Max the remote to the VCR. “Instead of running my mouth, I’m going to let you watch it alone. I’ll be in my office. Just knock when you’re finished and we’ll discuss what steps we need to take.”

The President pushed open the door to his office and disappeared inside.

Max and 99 looked at each other in total confusion.

“What the hell is he talking about?” Max asked.

“I have no idea . . .” 99 said.

“Well, let’s see.” Max hit the play button.

The picture flickered into view. It was obviously a transfer from an older video tape, but the image quickly became clear. The room was lit by candles and had mirrors on the ceiling. Max and 99 knew immediately where and when this particular video tape had been made. They looked at each other and smiled faintly. They sat in silence, watching as the scenario played out before their eyes. After about fifteen minutes, 99 couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Oh, this is too much!” She said and started laughing.

Max stared at her, scandalized. “How can you laugh?! They taped us!!”

99 leaned back against the sofa, her laughter slowly subsiding. “Oh, Max, did you really think they didn’t??”

“I never gave it a thought.”

“I did.”

They turned back to the tape. Max turned his head one way, then the other, studying the video from different angles. He tapped 99 on the shoulder.

“Hey . . . 99?”

“Hmmm . . . ?”

“How did we do that?” He asked, pointing at the screen.

99 rolled her eyes and turned off the tape. They stared silently at the blank screen for a moment, then looked at each other and started giggling. The door to the President’s office opened and he walked in. He saw the video was no longer running, and his confusion came from the fact that Max and 99 sat on the sofa, arms around each other and laughing uncontrollably.

“Uhh . . . Excuse me?”

“Sorry, Mr. President,” Max said.

“You think this is funny?”

“Depends on what you mean by ‘funny’, Sir,” 99 said.

“Try this. This tape has been released to the media.”

“What could anyone ever hope to gain? And who’d show it?” Max asked. “Even CNN can’t air stuff like this. Besides . . . it’s us, not one or the other of us with someone else.”

“They’ve scheduled it for airing on two pay per view channels. The ‘premiere’ is set for Wednesday night.”

“Really? What time?” Max asked.

99 nudged him. “Who is ‘they’, Sir?”

“Kaos. But we have a problem here. You’re a highly respected Congresswoman up for re-election in the fall. Chief, you’re the head of a very important sub-unit of the CIA. If this film gets on the air, it would be a big humiliation to the United States,” He sighed. “We would almost certainly have to remove you from your positions.”

99 stood up. Max knew exactly what she was going to say.

“What? We may have to be ‘removed from our positions because of embarrassment to the government’? Excuse me, Sir, but who came up with that idea? I’m an elected official.”

“Me.”

“Oh, Lord . . .” Max moaned.

“Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black, Mr. Clinton? Or am I wrong about what supposedly went on in this room?”

Max groaned.

“Mrs. Smart, we’re talking about two different things here.”

“How the hell is it different? We were on a very difficult assignment. We had already accomplished what we set out to do. All we had to do was wait 45 minutes . . .”

“I saw how you waited,” President Clinton interrupted sarcastically.

“Listen,” 99 said angrily. “Neither of us was married. You are.”

“At least I’m not on tape!!”

“I’m surprised you’re not!”

Max covered his face with his hands.

“Mrs. Smart, I think I’ve heard about enough.”

“You have the audacity to stand there and tell us we could lose our jobs over this? It happened years ago!”

“Doesn’t matter, you were supposed to be working.”

“We were supposed to be working? You were supposed to be working too. Not having a unofficial sporting event with a woman half your age!”

Max hit her with one of the crutches. 99 turned around and stared at him in disbelief. He motioned for her to sit down. He put an arm around her and whispered in her ear.

“99, I love you, but cool it. We’ve got to give Control time to investigate. Mr. President? Thank-you for taking the time to show this to us,” Max said, getting up and balancing weakly on the crutches. “Control will investigate and get a report back to you as soon as possible.”

“That’s fine with me. But remember, if that tape is shown . . .”

“Mr. President, if you decide to take action against us because of this tape, you’re going to find yourself a laughing stock . . .”

The President glared at him. “Chief Smart . . .” He warned.

Max had grown tired of the President’s pompous, arrogant comparisons between the tape and his supposed indiscretion.

“Look,” he said. “I really don’t give a shit what you didn’t or didn’t do . . . All I know is my wife and I have been loyal to this country for years. We’ve nearly been killed on numerous occasions, weathered the death of our dearest friend and father figure, the break-up of Control . . . I can go on and on. My wife is highly respected. As for me . . . well . . . If you want to let me go, I guess you can. But being a member of Congress is very important to my wife. If the tape is shown, I think she can take care of any problems that arise.”

“I’m sure of that!” The President said snidely.

Max picked up on his poor choice of words. He glanced over at 99 . . . She was fuming, but remained silent.

Max turned back to the President. “That was completely uncalled for.”

“You’re the one that said it . . .”

Max frowned at the President. He knew 99 disagreed with President Clinton on numerous policies (not related to the notorious yarn of the anteroom), but something was very wrong here.

“Mr. President . . .”

He felt 99’s hand squeeze his arm.

“Mr. President, I apologize. You’re right. The main thing is to find out who has the vendetta against us. Tell you what . . . why don’t you put us both on leave of absence until this is resolved? We could use a few weeks of relaxation and it will give Max time to heal.”

“Good idea. Apology accepted. Consider yourselves on paid leave of absence for the next month.”

99 smiled and tightened her grip on Max’s arm. “Great! Thank-you, Sir. Come on, Max, lets go,” They both shook hands with the President and left.

After they had driven through the White House gate, Max turned to 99.

“Good work, 99.”

“Oh, Max, I thought I was crazy.”

“We have to get to Control. This country is in serious trouble - the President Of The United States is an imposter.”

********

The Chief’s office was a madhouse. Maxine was arguing with Max, 99 was arguing with Zach and Hymie was busy in the corner computing the information Max had brought him.

“Quiet!” Max yelled. “I’m telling you that the man sitting in the White House is not the real President!”

“Oh, come on, Dad!” Maxine said. “How could they get an imposter in there? The White House is one of the most heavily guarded buildings in Washington!”

Max looked at his daughter tiredly and said nothing. He leaned on the desk with his head in his hands, wincing in pain. 99, taking a respite from her argument with Zach, suddenly remembered that Max had been released from the hospital just four hours before. She rolled her eyes in frustration. Not at her kids, but at herself. With the revelation that the President was not who he seemed to be, she had forgotten.

“Okay, if you guys want to argue, argue. Max . . . I’m taking you home.”

Max looked up at her. “I can’t go home, 99. We’ve got to figure out how, when and why . . .”

“Let Hymie and the twins handle it for now. They can keep us informed.”

“But . . .”

“No buts. Let’s go.”

Max nodded in agreement and with 99’s help, they left the office and headed home.

No sooner had they left the office, the phone rang. Hymie answered and after a short conversation, hung up, looking perplexed.

“I want you two to keep an eye on things here while I’m gone. If you come up with anything, put it in the computer. Don’t call me.”

“What’s the matter, Uncle Hymie?” Maxine asked.

“I have to go to the White House. The President wants to talk to me.”

“Does he have any idea you’re a robot?” Zach asked.

“No,” Hymie seemed distracted. “See you later.” He walked right through the door, leaving a perfect silhouette of himself.

Maxine and Zach looked at each other.

“I wonder if he heard something in the President’s voice he didn’t like?” Zach asked.

Hymie went over to Max and 99’s a little later that afternoon. He explained they need to get out of town.

“You two need to get away. I’ve got a great vacation hide-a-way in the Rocky Mountains I want to take you to.”

“I like this idea,” Max said to 99. “It will give us a chance to be alone and give the twins time to investigate. What do you think?”

“Okay,” 99 replied.

“You don’t sound real thrilled. Don’t you want to go away with me?”

“Of course I do, Max, don’t be silly.”

“Then why do you sound so down?”

“Worried about the twins, wonder who’s after us . . . I don’t know.”

Max put his arms around her. “I love you.”

She smiled and gave him a kiss. “Okay . . . let’s go.”

********

“Oh, Hymie, this is beautiful!” 99 said, staring out in wonder at the beauty of the Rocky Mountains.

“It really is, Hymie,” Max said. “Whatever gave you the idea to build a this place in the side of a mountain?”

“Wait until you see the inside. Come on, take a look.”

Max and 99 wandered about the interior of the cave.

“Amazing,” Max said, sitting down to give his leg a rest. “The temperature stays the same too. What a great idea.”

99 continued to look around, but she wasn’t saying much, she was becoming more and more suspicious.

“What’s in there?” she asked, pointing to a large, wooden door.

“Supplies.”

“Supplies for what?”

“So you can be completely alone, so you don’t have to go out.”

“Why would we not want to go out, Hymie?” Her voice was flat. “What happened with your conversation with the president?”

Max looked at her. “99? What’s wrong? What’s with all the questions?”

99 stared at Hymie.

“Okay,” he said. “Here’s what happened . . .

He said, “You’re going to be in charge of Control while Chief Smart recuperates?”

“Yes, Sir. I’m glad you gave them the time off. They’ve both been working hard lately and they need some time together.”

“I just wanted to meet you so if there . . .” He was interrupted by an aide who entered the room and whispered in his ear.

“Excuse me, Hymie, I’ll be right back.”

As soon as the door closed, I got up and put my ear against the wall.

“You got them?” The President asked.

“Yes,” said the Aide.

“When do we go with it?”

“Wednesday, at noon.”

“Good.” He laughed. “See you in the Looking Glass.”

Hymie got back to his seat and casually flipped through a magazine.

“I’m sorry, Hymie, something has come up. It was a pleasure to meet you.”

“A pleasure to meet you too, Sir.”

I went out and stood in the grass in front of the Washington Monument for a while. I looked down the Mall and stared at the beautiful buildings . . . The Capital at one end, the Lincoln Memorial at the other. I knew this day was going to come some day, the way humans are. I prepared for it, but it took me a long time. Now I had to the overwhelming task of convincing you. I figured I knew I could get you up here with no problem. I could just bring you here. As for the twins, I knew it would take more convincing, but I was pretty sure I could persuade them to go.”

“Max, don’t you get it? Don’t you know what this is?”

“What what is?”

“All this,” 99 said, gesturing around with her hand.

“A mountain hide-a-way?” He asked.

99 gave him a intense stare. He looked at her and shook his head, baffled. Suddenly,

comprehension came over his face.

“Oh, my God! Hymie?” He turned to look at the mechanical man.

“When?” 99 asked.

“Soon. Very soon.”

“What about the twins?”

“I’ll get them here.”

“But who? Why”

“A radical fringe of Kaos. One so violent, even the Kaos high command is leery of their tactics.”

“What about the real President? Is he dead?” Max asked.

“I have no idea. They couldn’t take a chance of him escaping. Of course, they may have kept him in Washington, alive, for obvious reasons.”

“What about the rest of the Cabinet? Are they real or imposters?” 99 asked.

“Some of them are still the real thing. I know for sure that the Vice-President, Chief of Staff, Speaker of the House, Secretary of Defense, Joint Chiefs are imposters.”

“All the high muckity-mucks then? The ones who . . .”

“Have their finger on the button,” Hymie finished for him.

Max turned to 99. “We have to get back to . . .”

“NO!!!” Hymie commanded. Both Max and 99 looked at him.

“Stay here, where you’re safe. I’ll get the twins. They’re trying to convince the networks that this information is real. I don’t think they’re having much luck.”

“Why don’t they get the head of the CIA to help?”

“Can’t take the chance. The government has been infected so thoroughly, we can’t tell for sure who is real and who isn’t.”

The phone rang. Hymie picked it up. He listened for a few minutes, then said, “Good. I’ll pick you up at Control’s private air strip in half an hour.”

He hung up. “Your kids convinced NBC that what they have is real. They’re going to go with it in five minutes. Let’s watch.”

He motioned them to a room at the end of a short hall. The room was full of computers, monitors and television hook-ups. Hymie flipped on the computers. Three were connected to the supposedly secret SAC spy satellites used for protection against enemy attack. They were homed in on D.C., New York and SAC headquarters in Omaha, Nebraska. He turned on a TV to the NBC affiliate. NBC News had just broken in with the special report when 99 become aware of a flashing on one of the screens.

“Oh, God, Max . . .” She pointed.

Max turned in time to see several blips headed toward the United States, coming in from the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. The phone rang. Max grabbed it up.

“Dad?”

“Maxine!”

“Dad, I don’t know if we’re gonna make it. We’re about ten miles East of the airstrip, but they just sounded the red alert. Dad, I love you.”

“I love you too, Honey . . .”

Hymie put the phone on speaker. Zack got on with Maxine and all four talked over each other. Suddenly, the screen from D.C. flashed white. Even over the television, the light was blinding. At the same time, the phone went out.

Max and 99 stood in silence, staring at the monitors in front of them in shock. The satellite cameras focusing on Washington showed tall, luminous clouds rising up from the ground. Other cameras (on the ground), showed about thirty seconds of an intense light show, the mushrooms, colors expanding in all directions, before they were destroyed. 99 grabbed Max’s arm and pointed to the camera feed from New York. They could see an object, shimmering in the noonday sun, headed toward the Empire State Building. As it got closer, they could actually see it . . . Max pulled 99 away from the screen as it went white, protecting her eyes from the glare, which filled the room.

“Hymie?” Max asked softly. When he didn’t replay, Max looked around. Hymie was nowhere in sight.

“Hymie?!” Max yelled.

“Right here, Max. I was securing the steel door.”

“Shutting the door? What about the twins? They have to be able to get in.”

99 looked at Hymie, then turned Max around to look at her. She gently took his face in her hands.

“Max . . . I . . .” Tears welled up in her eyes. She swallowed hard. “I think they’re dead, Love.”

“Naw . . . we just lost phone communication. They’ll get here.”

99 looked at Hymie again.

“Even if they did make it, they couldn’t come in,” 99 said.

“You mean to tell me you wouldn’t let them in? Your own kids?? Why?”

“Max, if they were out there in this, they . . . they would be contaminated, Love. They and everyone out there with them has been handed a death sentence.”

“Then why are we in here? What’s the point?”

“To live.”

“Why? What makes us so special that we’re allowed to live, but our kids die? Hymie, why didn’t you get them to come with us?”

“They wouldn’t. They wanted to try and stop it.”

“But you said you knew when. Why didn’t you . . .” Max stopped. “They set them off early, it’s only Tuesday!”

“Exactly,” Hymie said. “I feel horrible. I loved them, Max, you know that.”

Max was silent. 99 stood by the monitors, watching as the United States was rendered helpless as bombs disseminated Los Angeles, Atlanta and San Francisco.

“So, what now?’’ Max asked. “Just live in here the rest of our lives? Never go out?”

Hymie nodded. “That’s about it.”

99 was still watching the monitors. She squinted and bent down to look at something. She straightened and cleared her throat.

“Excuse me . . .”

Max and Hymie continued their conversation.

99 cleared her throat louder.

“I said ‘EXCUSE ME!!’ ”

They turned to stare at her.

“Hymie, I wonder if you could you explain something to me?”

“I’ll try.”

“When did they move the Statue of Liberty to D.C.?”

“What?” Max asked. Hymie said nothing.

“Hymie, you heard me. Not only that, it seems the Washington Monument has survived the attack quite well. What’s going on? Why the fake nuke attack?”

“Fake?”

“Yes, Love, fake. Come here.”

Max and 99 bent over the screen of Washington, D.C. Smoke was still billowing, but, standing majestically beside the Washington Monument, was Lady Liberty.

Max raised up. He pointed at Hymie, motioning him to come here. Hymie reluctantly came over and stood with his head down.

“I never should have let Larabee edit the film,” He muttered.

“What?” Max asked.

“Oh, nothing.”

“The truth,” Max said angrily. “Before I pull out your wiring . . .”

“You haven’t answered my question,” 99 said. “Why the fake attack?”

“We had to get you out of Washington. You didn’t want to come anyway, 99” Hymie reminded her.

Max glared at him. “Answer the question.”

“There’s a price on your heads.”

“How much?”

“One million, for the both of you.”

“Wow! Too bad we can’t figure out a way to collect it,” Max said to 99.

99 was not amused. “Why the deception? Why didn’t you tell us the truth?”

“We have another scam going. You two were killed when your plane went down. Right now, Washington is mourning the loss of Congresswoman Smart and her husband, Maxwell Smart, head of Control, a branch of the CIA.”

“We’re dead, the country’s been bombed out of existence . . . that’s is a pretty elaborate and expensive scheme. It not only involves us, but the whole country. You haven’t answered 99’s question . . . why didn’t you tell us the truth? Why trick us into thinking the country was incinerated?”

“I couldn’t tell you.”

“Not an answer,” Max said.

“I wasn’t allowed to.”

“Who gave you those orders?”

Hymie sighed. “The twins.”

“What?”

“The whole scheme was Maxine’s idea. They found out who’s behind the pictures sent to the house, the picture in the paper and the shooting . . .”

“Who?” 99 asked.

“You won’t believe it.”

“Try me,” 99 said, narrowing her eyes. “Is it the fake president?”

“The President was in on it too.”

Now Max and 99 were totally confused.

Max finally exploded. “I’m tired of this cat and mouse game, Hymie. Tell me who it is and tell me now! Or I’ll walk out that door and find out for myself.”

“Me too,” 99 agreed.

“Gropo.”

“What?!!”

“It’s Gropo.”

“Oh, please!!” 99 said.

“Gropo climbed out of the well and put a price on your head.”

Max and 99 looked at each other for a moment.

“Let me get this straight,” Max said, walking over to Hymie. “A Kaos robot that was destroyed nearly thirty years ago just popped on up out of a well and decided to kill us? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my life!”

“It’s true.”

“We threw several large grenades down that well! The only thing left was scrap. What did he do? Rematerialize?”

“Sort of.”

Max, by now livid, grabbed Hymie by the front of his shirt. “I’ve had enough. None of this makes any sense at all, none of it. The pictures, the shooting, a supposedly fake president, a fake nuclear attack, our fake deaths, Gropo’s ‘rematerialization’ . . . I may not be the smartest man in the world, but give me some credit for some intelligence.” He flung Hymie away from him. “Tell me what’s going on!”

“I just did.”

“Oh, I’ve had enough of this. Come, on, 99, let’s go.” He went to the door, Hymie right behind him.

“Max, don’t . . .” He said as Max opened the door. A tremendous explosion threw the door, and Max and Hymie, across the room.

Max instantly woke up and looked at 99 who was shaking violently. He wrapped his arms around her to comfort her.

“Shh, 99.” He rocked her back in forth gently. “Did you have the dream again?”

Yes,” She sobbed. “Only this time, we all died. Except me! Everyone was dead . . . you Hymie, Zach and Maxine! Oh Max! I'm frightened about them going to work on Tuesday!”

“99 . . . Shh. You're getting hysterical.”

“I changed my mind. It's not okay for them to go! Mommy says, ‘No’!”

“99 . . .”

“Think about it Max! The first time I had the dream, the first part of it came true. The second time I had the dream, two parts of it came true. The third time, three parts of it came true. Max don't you see? If the twins go out on that mission... they're going to die!”¬

“99 . . .”

“I’m serious, Max,” She said, struggling to extricate herself from the sleeping bags and pillows, that were now scattered all over the gazebo.

Max pulled her back down beside him.

“All right, 99. How about if I tell them they have to wait a few years? I’ll tell them because they’ve been in the lab since they joined Control, they have to . . . to . . . be couriers first. What do you think?”

99 sighed in relief. “Oh, Max . . .”

“You’re okay with that?”

“Yes, Love. Hey . . .”

“What?”

“What about the picture?”

“Let Hymie work on it . . .” He continued nibbling on her ear.

“Max . . . ?” She said seductively, settling comfortably into his arms.

“Hmm . . . ?”

“Do you have any more surprises for me?”

NOTES:

The title of this story is based on “Alas, Babylon” by Pat Frank, my absolute favorite book. If you get a chance, please read it.

Max says the Farcus’ are living in Marion, Ohio. This little town in central Ohio is the home and burial place of Warren G. Harding, 29^th president of the United States. It’s also my home town (I now live in Atlanta, GA) and is still the home of my buddy, Elaine, who teaches at Pleasant Elementary School.

99 gets Goobers out of the candy machine for Max. In Lisa’s GS stories, Max loves Goobers. Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups are my personal favorite, so 99 gets those for herself in this story.

The idea of ‘the tape’ that the Smarts watch at the White House comes from a story by Etra.

I am in no way insinuating that former President Clinton is guilty or not guilty of anything.