(PG-13)

“99, it’s so good to be home. I thought I’d never see it again . . .”

The Smarts entered their apartment and Max tossed their suitcases into the closet.

“Ouch! This bruise hurts,” Max said, rubbing his chest. “I wonder how long . . .” He stopped as he caught sight of 99 standing by the bar. She threw some ice in a tall glass and filled it completely with Scotch.

“Care to join me?”

“That’s kinda strong, isn’t it?” Max asked, taking the drink from her hand. “Why don’t we share?”

“Okay . . .” 99 said faintly, sitting down on one of the bar stools.

Max sat beside her, took a gulp of the drink and handed it back to her. 99 downed the rest in one swallow. Max frowned as she poured another.

“You want to help me with this one?” 99 asked, downing most of the amber liquid before he could reply.

“No,” he said, taking the glass from her hand. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m getting drunk.”

Max studied her face for a moment. “It won’t help.” He said softly.

“No, but it will numb the pain for a bit.”

“99, we’re home . . . we’re safe. Captain Antione saved . . .”

“I know . . .” 99 said, and promptly burst into tears. Max put his arms around her. She wept incoherently on his shoulder. He pulled her to her feet and helped her to the couch. He sat them down and let her cry. He knew what she was going through. It had happened to him just last year when he thought she had died in a plane crash. Twice in the last eleven months, one of them had thought the other dead.

“99?” Max shook her gently.

99 lifted her head from his shoulder and leaned against the back of the couch She wiped her eyes with her sleeves and drew a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Max . . . I’m so tired.”

“Then let’s go to bed.”

She shook her head. “I’m not tired.”

“What!? Come on, 99, I’m not going to argue with you. Let’s get some sleep.”

99 allowed Max to help her up the stairs. She was so out of it, he had to help her out of her clothes. Wearing only t-shirts and underwear, they tumbled into bed and fell into a deep sleep . . .

“Rebellion In Montania?”

Max’s hands started shaking so badly he dropped the newspaper. He tried reaching for his coffee, but he couldn’t pick up the cup. He jumped when 99 entered the kitchen.

“Good morning, Love,” She said. She went to the counter without looking at him and poured herself a cup of coffee. It was only when she came to the table that she saw he was shaking - and saw the horrified look on his face.

“Max! What’s the matter?”

“Sit down, 99.”

When she was seated, he turned the paper around and tapped a finger on the article. She put on her glasses and leaned over the paper. It only took a moment. The glasses fell off her face and onto the paper. She looked up at Max, grief-stricken.

“Oh, my God . . . ”

“He saved my life, 99 . . . and died for it,” Tears welled up in Max’s eyes.

99 had turned back to the paper. “ ‘After the prince had taken a hands off policy’?!” 99 turned back to Max, furious. “What a crock of . . .” She quieted when she saw Max’s tears.

She went around the able and sat next to him, pulling him into her arms.

“Oh, 99 . . .”

And they both cried for the man who had saved them.

There was a sudden pounding on the door.

“Max! 99!” The Chief’s voice yelled.

99 got up, wiping the tears from her face, and opened the kitchen door. The Chief, who had been knocking on the front door, turned and pushed 99 back into the kitchen and shut the door tightly behind them. He secured all the locks, then went to the front door and did the same.

“You’ve read the article?” The Chief said. “Well, I‘ve got worse news.”

“What else??” Max groaned.

“Colonel Landau is in the United States. According to our informants, he’s looking for you, Max, to ‘finish the job’ .”

“What?!” 99 cried.

Max’s face paled.

“I’m sending you to Control’s hideout in the Rocky Mountains. It’s a log cabin with no electricity, and this time of year it’s cold as hell and right now there’s six inches of snow on the ground, but it’s isolated and secure. We’ll send you today and you’ll have to stay until Landau is found and sent back to Montania.”

“Or killed,” 99 said.

“We can’t kill him, so far he hasn’t done anything. And we can’t take the chance that your identities will be revealed.”

“How come he didn’t say who I was in the article? Oh, never mind,” Max said. “I guess he wants to execute me himself.”

“Seems that way. Get packed.”

“Both of us?” 99 asked.

“At first I was just going to send Max, but you two have been through so much . . .” He paused. “You need to be together. Larabee is downstairs waiting to take you to Control’s secret airport.”

Max and 99 packed in record time. The Chief said Control would safeguard the apartment and he personally would take care of their mail and bills. Then he hustled them down the stairs and into the car. He waved goodbye and turned around, with a sad look on his face.

Larabee studied his friends in the rear view mirror. “Anything I can do for you?”

“Thanks, Larabee, I think we’re fine,” 99 said.

“Okay. We’ll be at the airport in a few minutes.”

When they got to the airport, Larabee helped with their suitcases and watched until they were securely aboard.

As the plane took off, both Max and 99 breathed a sigh of relief. 99 stared out the window for a moment, then turned to Max. “I love you.”

“I love you, 99.”

*********

The cabin was in a secluded area, as the Chief had said. What he had failed to mention, however, was that they had to hike with backpacks ten miles through a steadily deepening snow storm to reach the place. When they finally got there, they discovered a one room cabin with (luckily) an indoor bathroom, a large wood burning stove and a massive stone fireplace.

“Oh, Max, look at this!” 99 said. She went over to the fireplace.

“Let’s build a fire and make something to eat. You hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Me either,” She sighed. “What I am is tired. Where’s the bed?”

Max went to the sofa in front of the fireplace. He pulled off the cushions and unfolded the bed.

“How did you know that was there?”

“No bedroom, where else?”

“Let’s go to bed and get a fire going.”

“You know how that’s been going lately . . .”

99 ignored his little outburst and together they built the fire. She got ready for bed and snuggled under the covers. “Coming, Max?”

“I guess I can try.”

99 pointed a finger at him. “Stop that! Get changed and come to bed.”

Max did as she requested, but sat staring into the fire.

“Max I want you to listen to me. We’ve both been through the ringer the last couple weeks. We’re both so stressed out, it’s a wonder we can function on any level. And now with that idiot Landau looking for us, it’s just made matters worse. You know what I want?”

Max shook his head.

“I want you to hold me.”

Max leaned back and put his arms around her. “I’m sorry, 99,” He said as she snuggled against his shoulder. “I’m really upset about Captain Antoine . . .”

“Me too, Max. I hate Landau. He’s the coldest, most underhanded and devious person I’ve ever come across. I wonder what his intent was? Take over the country, you think?”

“I don’t know. But when the Prince decided to investigate, I guess Landau choose to make himself scarce. But why would he bother to after me, 99? What could he possibly hope to achieve?”

“He was betrayed by someone he trusted, I guess he wants . . . revenge?” 99 queried.

“Did you bring your gun?” Max asked.

“Yes, plus a few devices from the lab.”

“Well, with the snow and this place being so isolated, hopefully we’re safe.”

They both quieted and watched the flames. Finally, they fell into a fitful sleep . . .

Max shook his head. As his vision cleared he could see the soldiers raising their rifles, aiming at his chest . . .

“99!!!!!” He screamed.

99 bolted upright. Max was sitting up, his eyes wide, screaming her name. When he screamed again, she grabbed his arms and forced him down on his back.

“Max! Wake up!”

He awoke almost immediately, his face covered with sweat.

“Max, are you awake?”

Max nodded. “Yeah . . . It’s the firing squad dream again,” He said, sitting up. He was shaking violently. 99 put her arms around him and he buried his face in her shoulder. She ran her fingers gently through his hair. “It’s okay, Max, I’m here.” She soothed.

“I’m sorry, 99. The dream scares the hell out of me. There you are, leaning out toward me . . . then the gunfire. Even though I know what Captain Antoine’s plan is, every time I have the dream, that part escapes me. I just don’t remember about the vest.” He sat up and took her face in his hands. “I’m sorry we scared you, but I didn’t even know about his plan until the last minute because he couldn’t take the chance of anyone finding out what he was doing. 99 . . . what if Landau finds us? That dream’s could become a reality.”

“If he finds us, I’ll kill him . . .”

*********

Max and 99 were in the middle of their second week of hiding. There was a good foot of snow on the ground, so they had spent most of that time in the cabin . . . until the infamous “Cabin Fever” took over and they decided to brave the cold and go for a walk. They didn’t say much as they walked, preferring to enjoy nature. It was quiet . . . and beautiful.

They walked about a mile when they decided to turn back. With 99 in the lead, they had the cabin in sight when 99 stopped.

“Max . . . something’s not right - ” Her words were cut off as someone grabbed her from behind a tree and put a gun to her head.

“Good morning, Mrs. Smart. So good to see you again,” Colonel Landau said. “And Maxwell Smart! I’ve finally found my errant spy. Drop the gun . . . or I’ll kill her.”

Max threw his gun down and raised his hands.

“Very good.”

“So what do you plan to do? Shoot me right here?” Max asked.

“No.”

“Then what?”

“Mrs. Smart is going to, shall we say, ‘show me a good time’ . . . while you watch. Then I’m going to finish what my traitorous Captain simply delayed, I’m going to shoot you, Mr. Smart.”

“What about me?” 99 asked, grinding her teeth in anger.

“You have a choice, my dear. You can come with me or join your husband.”

“I’ll join Max, thank you very much,” 99 snarled.

Max closed his eyes tightly and cursed. He had to think of a way to save 99 from the imminent rape.

“How did you find us?” Max asked, desperately grasping at straws.

“It didn’t take long to find someone who needed a cash advance. Of course, they never got a chance to use it.”

99 suddenly struggled to escape. Colonel Landau pulled up on her arm, causing her to wince.

“Don’t move, my dear, or your husband shall witness your death before his.”

99 stopped struggling, but felt something . . . her silver bracelet. It had slid down near her palm as she had struggled to free herself. Hidden within the bracelet was an inch and a half long knife. She moved her finger slightly and the blade popped out. Colonel Landau was so engrossed in his conversation with Max that he didn’t feel the slight movement. 99 knew she had but one chance, so she moved quickly - plunging the small blade as deep as possible into Colonel Landau stomach and slicing to the right . . . gouging out a six inch long gash in his abdomen. He gasped in astonishment and fell to his knees, dropping the gun. 99 quickly scooped it up and pointed it at him.

“Don’t move, you bastard.”

Colonel Landau laughed at her and moved to get up. 99 kicked him in the chest, knocking him onto his back.

Meanwhile, Max stood stock-still. He was afraid to move for fear if he distracted 99’s attention for even a moment, the Colonel might get the gun back.

“So, Mrs. Smart . . .”

“SHUT UP.” 99 said.

“What do you plan to do? Kill me? You can’t. I’m entitled to a trial by a jury.”

“Like the one you gave Max?” 99 snapped. “No, I don’t think so. This is your trial - and the court has found you guilty of treason and murder. The sentence is death. Here. And now.”

“You don’t have the nerve,” He smirked.

99 calmly pointed the automatic pistol between his eyes. Her hand was steady and unmoving.

“This is for Captain Antoine,” she said. “. . . and my Max.”

She pulled the trigger.

The shot echoed through the silent, white world . . . startling Max even more than the animals that skittered away in fright.

99 stood unmoving, the gun still pointed at the Colonel. Max bit his lip, then went over to her and gently took the gun from her hand. He glanced down and knew that they no longer had anything to fear from Colonel Landau.

“99? Come on, it’s cold. Let’s go inside and call the Chief.”

“I say we throw his body into the stream and let the animals have pot luck.” 99 said coldly.

“No, 99.”

“What are we going to tell the Chief?” 99 asked, turning to him.

“Exactly what happened. Except that, when you grabbed the gun, you just turned around and shot him. We don’t have to say anything else.”

99 sighed. Her body suddenly felt like a strand of boiled spaghetti. She dropped down on one knee.

Max scooped her up into his arms and carried her into the cabin. He sat her on the couch and told her not to move. Then he called the Chief and explained what had happened. The Chief said they would be there in an hour.

“An hour? Where are you?”

“Nearby,” The Chief said.

Max sat beside 99 and told her what the Chief had said. They sat on the couch, arms around each other until they heard a helicopter and the tromping of many feet. Max got up and met the Chief at the door. He took him to the body and explained what had happened. Several Control agents stuffed the body into a plastic bag and carried it off to the helicopter.

“99 killed him, huh?”

“In self-defense.”

The Chief’s eyes met Max’s.

“It was! He had the gun to her head! She used a Control anti-personnel weapon! It has to be around here someplace. Look! Here’s my gun . . .” He walked a short distance away and picked up his gun. “I had to drop it.”

The Chief searched the ground and found 99’s bracelet. He picked it up with a stick and put it in a baggie.

“I highly doubt there’ll be a problem, Max. The Prince discovered what he’d done and put him under indictment in Montania for treason.”

“Chief? How about letting us stay a few more days?”

“Sure. Take your time. When you want to go home, call me.”

“Thanks, Chief.”

The Chief smiled and put a hand on Max’s shoulder. Then he and the Control agents left with the body.

*********

99 sat silently in front of the fire. She had taken a hot shower and built a roaring fire, but she still couldn’t get warm. Max fixed some hot chocolate and got under the blankets with her.

“99, drink this hot chocolate.”

They drank the chocolate in silence. Max sat the cups on the table behind the sofa. 99 was still shivering, so he took her into his arms.

“Max . . . I need you.”

“I need you, 99,” Max said, kissing her passionately.

“Max?”

“Hmmm?”

“I can’t do this any more.”

“Can’t do what any more?” Max asked, concerned.

99 shook her head. “No, Love, not that. I can’t be a spy any more, I just can’t. I love you, Max . . . I can’t go through anything like this again.”

“You want to quit?”

“No, I just don’t want to be a field agent any more.”

“Neither do I,” Max said softly.

“You don’t??”

“No. I love you, 99. You mean more to me than anything in the world. We’ve almost lost each other twice. Enough is enough. We’ll talk to the Chief when we get back. I’m sure there are two agents in Washington who’d like to go into the field.”

99 gently kissed Max and he ran his fingers gently over her face. Their eyes locked and they smiled at each other. No words were needed, Max and 99 understood each other perfectly . . .

Jodi Goldfinger
5/2002